The Night Before Christmas

The festive season is nearly upon us and at Casa Parker Smith, we have a few Christmas traditions (as I am sure you do too). Christmas Tradition Number One is that, come Christmas Eve, I descend on my old school’s local pub to get merry with some friends that I haven’t seen in approximately 364 days.

(My Dad’s Christmas Eve tradition is to refrain from sighing when he has to come and collect me post the £8 for a bottle of fizz deal. Sorry Dad.)

During said tradition, there is an unofficial script that we all like to follow.

It goes a something like this:

Me: Merry Christmas Old School friend! It’s been too long, how are you? What are you up to these days?

Old School Friend: I’m actually working as an -insert generic job here-. What are you doing?

Me: I’m actually working at a Speaker Bureau.

Pause for dramatic effect while Old School Friend tries to determine what a Speaker Bureau is.

Old School Friend: What’s a Speaker Bureau?

Cue me explaining what a Speaker Bureau is… which brings me to Christmas Tradition Number Two.

Ensuring everyone I went to school with knows that I am having a great time living in London, working at a Speaker Bureau and rubbing shoulders with famous people.

(NB: If anyone tells you that meeting lots of famous people isn’t a perk of this job, they are lying).

To achieve the desired effect of Christmas Tradition Number Two, one must shamelessly namedrop the talent we work with, who not only grace the big screen, but do various corporate events too.

The bigger the name, the better the payoff and I have found that the below tend to do the job quite nicely.

Joanna Lumley

I went to an all-girls school, and within my group of friends, Joanna Lumley is a Goddess. (Those more scrupulous would have noted my fondness for bubbles earlier in this blog).

Everyone wants to be friends with Joanna Lumley. Why? Because not only is she gorgeous, she is the most absolutely fabulous human on Earth (sorry for the awful pun). AND – when Joanna isn’t off saving the world one shwop at a time, she is hosting awards and speaking after dinner. You could literally have Patsy from AbFab lead the champagne toast at your next awards. The. Dream.

Benedict Cumberbatch


The only explanation I can offer you as to why I am not yet Mrs Parker-Cumberbatch is that the space/time continuum is keeping us apart.

Just like Benedict, I attended Manchester University; just like Benedict, I studied Drama there; and just like Benedict, I TOO work with JLA. However, fate is cruel and time won’t cross our paths. As a result, my (sole) mission whilst working at JLA is to ensure that one day, Ben and I are united.

And so here is my desperate plea:

Please, if you need a big name draw for your event…. Pretty please book Ben.

We’ll invite you to the wedding.

Celia Imrie

I once watched Celia Imrie order coffee at a shop in Edinburgh during the Fringe, and it was a better performance than all 20+ shows I saw that week.

She is one of the most successful British actresses ever. She has won an Olivier. She was a fighter pilot in Star Wars. She is incredible and you could have her at your event, entertaining your audiences with her all round greatness.

Simon Callow

Confession – I had not watched Four Weddings and A Funeral until earlier this year. I almost boycotted the remaining 30 minutes when I realised whose funeral it would be because why, (Richard Curtis) would you kill off the best thing about your film?

I eventually got over it, and luckily for me (and you) Simon is now turning his charm and wit to awards hosting.

 

Sadly, whilst Christmas Tradition Number Two does not have a word limit, this blog does…

But if you have your own Christmas Traditions and could do with having a few names up your sleeve to drop over Christmas drinks, contact us here to see how we can help.

 

 

 

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