"Very incisive and funny"
Institute of Public Relations
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BIOGRAPHY
John O'Farrell is a journalist, broadcaster and author. His name has appeared on the credits of The News Quiz, Have I Got News For You and Grumpy Old Men. And the film Chicken Run.
As well as his acerbic Guardian column, John has written a clutch of best-selling books. Things Can Only Get Better is a memoir of 18 grim years in opposition as a Labour activist, ruined by Blair's election triumph. It charts John's gradual realisation that Michael Foot would never be Prime Minister and the nuclear arms race would not be stopped by face painting alone.
To mark his feelings towards George W Bush, John published a collection of his newspaper pieces as Global Village Idiot. Aside from the President, he pokes fun at New Labour, Eurosceptics, SAS novelists and paternity leave. He also manages to pile more comic indignities onto Mohammed al Fayed.
When he isn't writing or otherwise spouting polemic, John is a prolific novelist and a very entertaining speaker. He recalls his own short-lived parliamentary ambitions, which ended in disaster, and offers a caustic view on the latest shenanigans in the Westminster village. He might even confess what makes him really grumpy.
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When he was 21, Gordon Brown won a Daily Express competition for 'A Vision of Britain in the Year 2000.' One of his first acts in office was to insist that the font for No.10 emails be changed from Times New Roman 12 to Arial 14.
Carlsberg Special Brew was created especially for Winston Churchill, as Denmark's thank-you for Britain's help during World War II.
The door to 10 Downing Street has no keyhole. It can only be opened from the inside.
In a study of common characteristics among Prime Ministers, Lucille Iremonger identified a childhood deprived of affection; extreme self-discipline; religious zeal; aggression, timidity and overdependence on the love of others.
The language used in the Chamber must conform to a number of rules. Past and present House of Commons Speakers have taken exception to: blackguard, coward, git, guttersnipe, hooligan, rat, swine, stoolpigeon, traitor and fuck.
Briefcases are not allowed in the Chamber. The reading of newspapers, magazines and letters is also prohibited. Eating and drinking (except for discreet sips to ease the voice) is not permitted, in contrast to previous centuries when visitors observed Members sucking oranges and cracking nuts.
The police shout "Who goes home?" when the House rises. This is an invitation to Members to join together in bands to cross what were the dangerous fields between Westminster and the City, or to hire boats homeward on the Thames.
A Member wishing to raise a point of order during a division was, until 1998, required to speak with his hat on. Collapsible top hats were kept for the purpose. Snuff is still provided, at public expense, at the doorkeeper's box at the entrance to the Chamber.